Blasts from the Bloomery . . .
Miranda: A True Story

© Ken Roby

published in ANVIL Magazine, August, 1998

Miranda is a dentist, and extremely conservative. The radio in her barn plays Christian radio day and night. She goes to church every Sunday and has prayers before every meal. Miranda is attractive and single - though not looking - and lives alone on her well-kept and manicured farm.

I have taken care of Miranda's horse for years; I just call and tell her when I'm coming, then I swing in and trim Willy's feet. Usually Miranda isn't there; however, periodically, Miranda and I arrange to take care of Willy's feet and then we cook dinner together and just have a pleasant evening chatting. It was during one of these chats that one of Miranda's dark secrets emerged...

A number of years ago, an older gentleman was trimming Willy. Miranda arrived home from a hard day of filling and drilling teeth, went into the house, and removed her stockings from (I must admit) her mighty fine legs. Still wearing her skirt, she went out to the barn to hold Willy while the farrier trimmed him.

As Miranda stood by Willy's head, Willy being the mouthy character that he is reached around and grabbed the bottom of Miranda's skirt and lifted it up as far as he could. As the mortified Miranda scrambled to regain both her skirt and her composure, Willy reacted as any normal horse would when something is flailing in front of his face: he jerked his head even higher. It took a painfully long minute or so to retrieve Miranda's inverted skirt from Willy's clenched teeth. To her credit, Miranda regained her composure rather quickly. After all, she is a medical professional. The farrier, on the other hand (who had the best seat in the house!), was as beet red as a farrier can get. He hasn't been back, and I have never seen Miranda wear a dress in the barn to this day. But I'll work on that...

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